The Road Home: How I Found My Higher Self

Below is a transcript from my meditation log book regarding when I met my higher self about a month or two back. I thought it would be good for everyone to see as not everyone knows what the higher self can be like. Mine tends to be a trickster at times, and rather understanding at others. The higher self is that part of ourselves that remains back in the ether, beyond the veil of death. It is the holder of our blueprints that we made, our road map, for our current life before we reincarnated. It is the holder of most of our keys and is the gate keeper that waits for us when we truly work on our spiritual self.

It is incalculably important that we connect with our higher selves, which is both easy and almost always hard as the higher self is just as unique and different as everyone else out there and they can, and usually do, come to you when you least expect it. One thing is sure however, that is that when they do finally come to you, you’ll be ready for them, and certainly not even looking for them at that point. In the below meditation, my purpose was not to seek out my higher self, but just to go with the flow and relax. I’ll add some spares commentary within parentheses for added information. So without further ado, here you go.

Tonight was an evening just like any other. I got home, got out of my work clothes and went to wash the dishes. Nothing much out of the ordinary. Once done with the dishes, I headed upstairs and to my computer and am about to turn it on, when I realize that my roommate is on the phone. Our wireless router does not play nice with our cordless phone, so no Internet for me. I sat there for a moment or two, trying to come up with something more interesting than playing mmorpgs or tinkering with my blog, and then decided to go and meditate. (which is unusual as I don’t, or at least I didn’t at that time, meditate on a regular schedule)

Setting the mood and lighting tea lights in the meditation room, I sat down and relaxed. I began to breathe deeply and within a minute or two was standing before a beach, the quarter moon on the horizon. I watched the waves lap at the shore before I noticed that there was a path that ascended to the sky and into space.

This Path was unusual in that it was both shiny black, almost like polished black marble, but also transparent to a certain degree. As I ascended it felt less and less like I was walking and more like I was being propelled by a force of momentum other than my own two feet. Suddenly the path went vertical and I with it. Up and up in to space. I hurtled far out, past the galaxy and came back under my own momentum in an area where the stars were very sparse and it was rather dark.

I walked as the path flowered out and became a large rectangular shaped floor, the size of a great hall. Then from out of the darkness came a quite giggle. It seemed to echo about, bouncing off of hidden and unseen walls. Then a point of light appeared, and began to move around as if beckoning me to follow it. So I did. As I ran after it, the giggles continued, even after I fell down a dark hole in the odd floor.

As I fell, the darkness seemed to enfold upon me until my descent slowed and stopped. Again I head the giggles as the point of light sped away and disappeared. I walked forward, towards the last direction in which I had seen the light and had heard the giggles come from. As I did so, I heard the giggle again, from all around me. It was child like, almost fascinated with me, and very feminine sounding.

“What are you” I wondered aloud, for up until that point I had not had this kind of thing happen to me in meditation before. I wasn’t at all surprised when I got an answer. “You already know” the voice spoke. I remained silent for a moment thinking and heard her giggle again. “You always were so silly” she said and then I could see her eyes. She was right in front of me, not five inches away from my face. She began to appear, though she stayed mostly transparent. She smiled at me coyly and said “I am you”. (Here is where my light bulb went off… ding, higher self! Duh!)

I asked her if she was my higher self and she smiled at me and gave me a knowing look as she blinked an nodded at me. We spoke for a few moments, of what I can not remember at this point. (Damn my bad memory!) While we were talking, I felt as if the darkness was hugging me, almost as if it was a part of her. She smiled at me and got closer as she reached out with her hands and grasped the sides of my face with them. Her touch, if it can indeed be called that, was an odd one. Rife with what felt like gentle electric currents gliding gently across my face.

She asked me “Will you fully accept me within you once again? Will you allow me into your heart, mind and soul?” I nodded and said yes, that I would. She smiled and said, “Then promise me that you will listen for me when you hear my voice. It may be faint to you now, but the more you listen for it, the more you let me flow, the louder and more distinct it will become. For I love you as I love myself.” As she was saying this the darkness seemed to warp and wrap itself around and about me.

I heard her whisper “Allow me within you for I am you.” and as she said that a shiver went down my spine as I realized that it was not the darkness that was hugging me nor was it warping or wrapping, it was her in a transparent form surrounding me and entering my body. We became one at that moment. Whole once more. (A distinct feeling that is both unforgettable and indescribable! Even as I read this over to comment on, I feel that same shiver run down my spine!)

Suddenly, the darkness left and I knew that I was within a pyramid made out of a glowing crystalline material. As I felt about, with my senses, I realized that it was not a pyramid, but really a merkabah, and in the center most was a chair that was made out of the same material. She told me to take a seat and as I did a point of light shot down and up as well, entering both my crown and root chakra. The energy and light seemed to be assisting me in raising my vibratory rate, in what would seem like an attempt to help me connect with my higher self.

The light then engulfed me and at its brightest I became aware of many beings to my left and right, all standing in line heading towards the horizon. Then, appearing before me, was a series of stairs that led up to a pedestal. As I approached it, what was behind me simply melted away in to the light and all that was before me was the pedestal and the ornate, posh box that laid upon it. The pedestal and the the box faded away as I opened it, revealing a diadem within it.

A pair of translucent hands reached out and took the diadem and as they held it I heard my higher self whisper “This is a gift for you, learn what it is an how to use it.” as she placed it on my head. I felt it’s energy and light wrap around my head and then the light faded away and it became dark one more. “Remember your promise to me and to you” she said as a doorway appeared, with the beach where I began, not too distant from it. “Remember and return.” she said as I walked through the portal. “Remember and return…”

)O(

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